its over... quite ok..
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
its finally over for me... while one stage that is... i think i didn't realli left an impression for tonight's performance... kind of disappointed.. but wat to do.. my standard is not good enough yet...
today din't have any lessons.. didnt want to disrupt my feelings.. then i practise at home.. with quite alot of mistakes.. then after that...went to esplanade.. i think i reached the earliest.. at 3.30pm.. meeting time was 4.30pm... well... my friend accompany me...so nice of her to keep me accompany the whole day... heehee..t hanks o... then we went to eat ice cream first while waiting for my teacher.. after that 4.30pm came and then we started to prepare ourselves... first we were led to a dressing room... which kind of redundant.. cos we know to dress ourselves.. then after that... started rehersal at about 5plus... rehersal was ok only.. played quite of wrong notes...
then came 7.30pm.. started with me first.. i would say quite a good start.. then after that was two other small ladies (my teacher's students also)... good they were.. not much mistakes as compared to me la... then after that ... my turn again.. it was not very good ending... then a duet with my teacher.. quite ok onli also... break for 1/2 hour.. then start again.. well... my second half i was playing songs that i was more familar with... so kind of better.. but not realli very goood also... aiya... not much ppl know la hor... then my teacher's powerful performance.. she did a great job... quite a nice experience i would say... thanks to my teacher... realli appreciate her effort...
here are some photos..
Me and my teacher
My good friend who accompany me Thanks~!~!
My family.. so nice of them to come and support me.. well my big bro and his gf came also... but forgot to take photo of them.. too nervous liao la..
My friends who supported me (best friend:christine, me and good friend:weiliang)
Thanks alot everyone~!~! shall let u know when i have another performance.. heehee (which might be never...) ^^v
babyfen woke up at 11:55 PM
tml is the day~!
tml is the big day.. very scared.. just played for my friend today.. quite ok... got two songs not very stable..tml shall practise them again.... shall post pictures and update tml night... .
babyfen woke up at 12:50 AM
horrible day with just one student~!~!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
had a terrible day today... actually only one of the lesson... realli horrible.. imagine a student screaming at you saying he wants to continue lessons after he has pissed you off with those moves... idiot sia.. but like wat baby say... (he always know how to comfort me)... i was composed enough not to let all the vulgarities all fly out from my mouth...
i started my day quite ok... not realli la.. the first student didn't realli practise much.. the next few were quite ok.. then after that there's this boy i always dread going there.. preparing myself.. i thought lesson today was going to be smooth going. .then came the horrible thing.. he didn't want to listent o anything i say.. everything that i ask him to do or ask him to try.. one word just came out without thinking.. "difficult".. then after endless useless tries of asking him to play and do his work.. i walked off and said "i think we shall stop lessons here... i'll call your mom and let her know about this lesson..." i was not trying to threaten... maybe i didn't explain myself clearly.. i will call his mom to let her know that i have cut short this lessons and will give back the time next week cos i see no point in continuing classes with him... then the drama begins.. he started screaming and crying (a pri 2 boy.. eurasian somemore)... and shouting..."don't want i want to continue lessons now..." but i realli had no mood in teaching. then the maid kindly opened the door for me... i was about to go.. and this boy.. threw his books on the floor and said "don't go.. i want to have lesssons"... i was about to walk out and he came running over to slam back the door and locked the door.. with me still inside the house that is.... die.. i was thinking,, going to be trap inside.. so i just stand there like an idiot... stupid childish idiot... he continue screaming at his maid also.. that she made him angry... which she didn't.. think he was trying to say it was me but dun dare.... wat a coward.... so i gave him a short lecture and still have to continue class and act as if nothing is wrong... feels so wrong.....
thinking back the incident.. i think i'm the one who is to be blamed.. i was too childish to just walk away like this... so i'm the coward now... how stupid i was to behave like that.. but realli under that kind of situation.. realli there's no point in continuing the classes... so shitty sia.... hope i will be able to cope the circumstances next time... i was angry with him for not trying and complaining it was difficult.. u think i teach u very easy is it.... u think money just fall from the sky and i can live with it??? fat hope man.... it realli affected my rest of day. should i say on the way home.. that i blasted my radio in my car.... baby knows this... i will always listen to techno whenever i'm realli pissed off with something that happens.... but too bad i have no techno to listen.. so just listen to any loud songs that come by... wat ever it is.. i think i need to apologize to the student and his mom.. shall do it next week... if not... sure i die also... stupid me.. idiot me... what ever is left to scold myself....
wed is the big day.. yup.. i said that many times.. ppl who are interested to drop by and heard a beginner plays during public performance... its at esplanade concourse area.. (somewheree near the front door elevator)... at 7.30pm.. i will be starting the whole program.. but definitely not ending it cos i'm not that good la.... wat ever it will be.. baby realli did help alot in calming me down for the event.. hope he will be there to support me..... ^^v
babyfen woke up at 1:01 AM
one down.. another to go... 29th june
Monday, June 27, 2005
finished my performance today.. not a very good one.. did mistakes but managed to carry on... hope on wed it would be better...
started my day today with a class... student didn't realli practise again.. well.. she always say "dun care" till i also fed up with her.. maybe i just let her fail her examinations and she will know that its realli that bad.... :P.. bad teacher i know.. but sometimes ppl just have to fall first before they get up on their feet....
after tat went over to baby's house... talk about baby.. yesterday was so sad... didn't get to see him the whole day.. and its going to be like this for the rest of the sat until national day... so sianz... wanted to go over to find him.. but when i finished my dinner with my family it was like 9 plus.. so late and no transport so gave up the idea.. so decided to go today morning... at least got some time... heheee... then stayed there a while before i went over to my concert... today no ppl went to support me.. i was there alone.. so sad.... my parents didn't go my bro didn't.. well.. cos they have already made plans to go on the wed one.. which is more important la.. then baby missed my performance cos i was one of the first few to perform.. well.. apparently.. he was washing his car when i was out already... can't blame him.. this performance meant nothing else to any one except me..
started off the piece quite stable.. but due to me trembling.. didn't realli continue well.. but not bad la.. at least never stop that much... then got a break.. after that... i have to wait for my turn at the last one to perform a duet with my teacher... good thing is.. baby came with his sisters and mum.. so there are my supporters.. but think i disappoint them... didn't realli played well.. finish already went off... then received a call from my teacher asking me to go back and practise with her the duet one more time.. cos we have to perform it again on wed... at esplanade some more... so i eagerly agreed... then going back.. it felt so much better.. even baby was saying that... heehee... think its the ppl la.. the first time had alot of ppl.. the second time only a few... fingers enough to count... heehee.. like that i also dun know what to do on wed.. so many ppl.... die la.. realli must practise hard these few days.. if not i sure die one... hope so la..
after that went for dinner with baby's family.. had fish head steamboat(something like that) quite nice.. but didn't realli have the appetite to eat much think too nervous from the performance le... we went to see handphone.. cos baby was complaining about my phone.. he say whenever i talked dun have high pitch one... and my "S" and "F" are mixed up.. so he suggested buying phone... look around.. saw some nice one.. but haven decide yet.. see how lor.. maybe this week end go see again ba...
wed is reaching le... so scared.. still haven decide wat to wear yet... should be pants and top... shall shop around for some nice pants tml at bishan maybe go there shop shop in between classes.... heehee...
oh ya... went for a show room at paya lebar crescent today.. saw quite a nice pent house... $1.2 million for a square feet of 1,200++... two storey one.. quite nice... if got money can buy... freehold somemore... but now most important thing is to save money le.. cannot spend so much.. think have to cut down on incentives to students and also my eating habits.. who knows.. i might slim down also.. heehee.....
babyfen woke up at 12:32 AM
i dun deserve it~!~!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
trying to prepare my program notes for my examination.. and seems like i have big problems with it.. wanted to show it to my teacher tml and here am i struggling with everything... sianz... reading through the ones i have previously written i realli dun deserve to pass (which i realli fail) sianz sia... realli its my attitude that i have to work on.. but also my language that i am poor in.. so stupid...
sometimes realli think i dun deserve wat i am and posseed now... well have a good boyfriend( whom i always bully).. a good job (which i dun realli put in my effort).. have a good career (which i dun realli put effort into practising and researching)... have a good family (which i always grumble alot about)... have a good friend (whom i sometimes overlook).... have many other things that i dun deserve it.. now already 21.. hope everything will be better and work harder for myself... sunday and wed is my big day.. (not getting married)... another type of big day... well.. if everything fails.. i'll just get married and bear kids... well that's the overall job of a woman in the end also..... :P
these few days starting to get worry about my examinations.. majority of ppl always think learning piano is not much stress... they dun even know what are we supposed to know everyday and practise in wat kind of mindset everyday... today practise realise that i dun realli listen to wat i play that's y my teacher always say that to me.... well... the demoralizing thing is that there is this 11 year old girl taking diploma examination this year also... she just passed her grade 8 with distinction last year.. so ~!~!~!~!!!!! and heard from my teacher that she's realli good in playing although mistakes are present but her style is quite convincing... going for her concert on 24th july.. hope to gain some inspiration from there.. or maybe is discouragement... dunno what's going on my heart now... sianz...~!~!~!~!
babyfen woke up at 12:53 AM
Celebration over... a new start~!~!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
my celebrations for my birthday can say is end on friday ba.. had three major celebrations.. one preday one actual and one post day... every one of them was fun and had good friends to accompany me also.
well the first two celebrations was already mentioned.. so the third one was on friday.. planned to have dinner at NYDC with my friends at wheelock place. didn't know that NYDC serves mainly pasta.. i went to cook pasta for lunch.. (tomato sauce one).. so for dinner i opted for the creamy sauce one.. a very cute name "Romemo and Juliet" it was super delicious. i was the onli one who finished my plate.. reason (1) it was delicious (2) so ppl also took from my plate (3) i was hungry (4) ppl treat me not nice to leave empty... heehee. think enough reasons le ba... then was debating whether to go sing KTV.. initially only planned for dinner.. so wanted to go over baby's house at night.. debate for a very LONNNGGGGG time.. decided to go KTV with the girls.. well dun have much chance to meet up and stay up late also.. then baby agreed to fetch me after the singing session..so sweet right?? heehee but i was feeling very bad.. so in the middle of the session i msged him that i will take cab over to his house by myself... then i didn't received reply..so reckon that he's asleep.. tried calling him. no answer.. so confirm he's sleeping.. so decided to share cab back with my friend who's also staying at yishun.. so not so bad.. reali had a fun day..
saturday work.. managed to get to class in time.. counting i onli slept like 5 hours??? luckily only one lesson... actually two(brother and sister) but reached there their mom say brother dun want to learn le.. ok lor.. good also.. he always never practise one lor.. then after that went over to baby's house... he booked ticket for BATMAN.. which he mentioned that he didn't want to watch.. but well he booked the tickets le.. so watched lor.. quite a nice show.. and long also.. after that went shopping a while and head back to my house.. wanted to swim but the plan is always spoil...
sunday woke up to go for classes.. then after that i went out searching for dad's father days present.. took a long while to find wat we wanted with my bro.. then head to baby house... very tired.. so sleep there.... then only like 1 hour later.. went out to have dinner with my family for father's day... and went for class ended at about 10pm.. tired.. went home prepared my next day classes.. sleep... not a very nice spent weekend with baby.. but quite a quality time spent with my family and friends...
next weekend burn again.. sat baby having rehearsal and me sunday having performance... sianz... realli sad and feeling very down when i dun have enough time with him and i will end up quarelling with my self within.... sianz...
oh ya... i recieved a total count of 7 (up till now) presents from ppl i know.. all very nice and sure i will keep cos its my 21st birthday presents ma...
from now on.. no more calling myself a little girl le... an adult liao.. so sianz.... many responsibilities will come up and many assignmentsi have to take on... strive to be more hardworking in preparing for my students lessons and my own examination.. so scary.. hope everything will just be smoother to walk from this point onwards...
Ket, Isa and me singing happily
Us once again
babyfen woke up at 1:08 AM
had a nice day~!~!
Friday, June 17, 2005
today is my birthday... hmm.. should i say yesterday is.. just over for a few hours... started off with my class with a student.. then had class with my teacher... then went to fetch my bro from chalet for dinner...
thanks dear for rushing down to have dinner with us.. hope u realli had enjoyed urself... after dinner fetched my didi back to chalet and baby back to camp.. sad to leave him back in camp... so sorry.. then went over to meet another group of friends.. cos of one them is going to australia to study.. that is our SIR Kenneth.. heehee.. will be away for 4 years that's realli long lor.. dun worry i will not miss you one.. heehee.e.. they are so sweet and got me a cake.. knowing its my birthday last min.. and got me a present.. thanks ppl~!~! realli appreciate them alot... here are some photos to share.. for the group one at coffeebean pls download them below... have fun today..
21 le.. got till now hmmm.....one, two, three, four, five, six presents like that.. all very nice and i like them alot.. especially the one dad bought for me.. it was unique and i shall use it on my wedding day... heehee
Nice Family Photo~!
Group Photo 1: Kenneth, Me, Christine, Edwin, Candy
Group Photo 2: Me, Christine, Candy, Soolee
Group Photo 3: Kenneth, Me, Christine, Edwin, Yuanjie
Hmm.. seems like Ah boon is missing from the photos.. so sorry man... didn't realise u didn't take photo with us.. so so sorry...~!~! :P
babyfen woke up at 1:25 AM
1st celebration~!~!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
today went out with my dearest friend to shop for my present.. heehee... nice day... bought something nice.. and ate something nice also.. heheee... tml is my birthday~!~! so waiting to celebrate with my family.. hope it will be fun... can i celebrate my birthday for a week??? heehee.. so nice if i can.. heehee
photos
babyfen woke up at 10:47 PM
program all line up le~!~!
these few days i have already planned things.. tml going shopping with my friend and having dinner... my treat that is.. thursday is dinner with family at sakae sushi... friday is dinner with another group of friends.. sat is time with baby and sunday with family outing... heehee... hope everything is going to be fine..
14 more days to the big day.. so scare and actually not very prepared yet.. must find time to practise more.. if not i will just be throwing my own face down the floor... heehee
babyfen woke up at 12:05 AM
i'm blessed to have you~!~!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
today finished class quite early considered... finished at 12.30pm.. then prepare a bit then went over to baby's place... was going to his uncle house to celebrate their father's and mother's day.. kind of a gathering.. this week is not father's day.. early celebration... then had a bit of problem with my schedule cos of the eating dinner with my family at night also.. some unpleasant things happen and i dont wish to elaborate but everything ok le la... so ok lor...
in the afternoon i had a very pleasant surprise which made me drop tears.. lots of tears... feel so blessed to have baby by my side and realli felt so loved by someone... heehee... he brought me a cake and surprised me while we were watching DVD.. it was very nice and sweet of him.. and he got me a present to add on to my collections.. hehee.e.. think my bed is flooded already... early celebration of my birthday that is... heehee... wed and thurs celebrating again.. so hope its gonna be fun and going to take lots of pictures... heehee.. 21st birthday leh.. old and yet going to be in a new world.. or something like that la.. .heheee....
realli luv my baby... he's always there for me to bully and he will never be forever angry with me.. he's always the one who give in to me.. he's always the one who made me cry so to comfort me better.. heheee.. he's always the one who laugh at my silly jokes and silly actions.. he's always the one who scold me stupid when i'm realli doing dumb things.. he's always the one who will be there to protect me from any harm...
think i realli need to change my ways of doing things.. cos i think it just irritated some ppl at times.. or is it all the time??? heehee.. that i dun know.... will try to post the pictures i took with him this afternoon.. but not soon.. cos have to wait another 5 days to see my baby... sad but yet so looking forward to it..
babyfen woke up at 11:42 PM
i miss my long hair~!~!
Friday, June 10, 2005
wonder is it me or others nowadays... realli misssed my long hair... now whereever i went i will see ppl with long hair.. realli long like mine last time... but how come last time not like that one??? so sad lor... never mind.. it will grow again one... but then again.. have to do rebonding... but never mind.. its nice heehee...
next wed going out with my friend to shop for my birthday present and she will get a treat from me... how nice...
just watched eye for an guy yesterday.. howard is so sweet and nice lor.... a fairt tale for a girl.. so nice~!~!
also watched LOST just now... in front very exciting... but hor later didi told me something about the show plot.. it all just feels so lousy as in the story line wise... but in front realli interesting la... and nice... tml then rewind and see the ending part.. cos just now never see...
babyfen woke up at 12:32 AM
something wrong with me..
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
it is always when i make a decision and i will be regretting after that... so idiot man.. been trying hard to finish all my things everyday but it just seems that i have not enough time or mentality to finish everything together... always feel very tired... mainly its becos my things always kills me mentally so its kind of difficult for me to think or do simple things...
decided to eat dinner on my birthday le.. heehee.. going to eat SUSHI.. my favourite.. so treating my family to eat.. but have to fetch my bro from and back to chalet.. so like paiseh to disturb his play during his chalet.. will have to consider again.. cos still have one week to think.. so i think maybe i just change my decision again.. sianz... is that wat gemini ppl are capable of?? so sianz...~!~!
just received news that Li Yundi will be coming to singapore in jan next year.. yup.. next year~!~! will be going to see the concert.. hope it will be nice.. will drag baby go.. dun care him... even how much he doesn't wants to go.. heehee... still haven managed to get his DVD of his competition.. wonder where got sell..
been realli long since i went shopping with baby.. or should i say out walking with baby... still remember there was a time we always go suntec or PS to catch movies and walk walk.. but actually i dun mind not going to walk or shop... cos hor... can save $$$ heehee... so its ok.. unless i have things to buy la... that's different.. but this sat going to celebrate my birthday in advance and then going watch movie with his bunkmate and gf... wonder whether it will be nice or not.. heehee.. shall see la hor...
planning for holiday le.. must see where is more nicer to go and cheaper... want to spend time alone with baby.. that's just so nice and sweet...
babyfen woke up at 5:33 PM
big day for me soon.~!~!
Monday, June 06, 2005
hmm.. been a week since i blogged.. these few days nothing much.. just went to a friend's 21st birthday party last sat.. met some of my ex PHS friends.. hmm.. mainly guys.. not much female breed there.. so didn't realli gossip much.. luckily i have my two good friends there to chat.. heehee.. think i will not hold my birthday party le.. cos thinking like ask friends here also have ot like entertain them and try not to let them feel left out.. so i'm going to celebrate with my family.. well.. celebrate with them also a bit headache.. cos hor.. dunno to celebrate on that day or with father's day.. which the sunday that follows.. see how first ba.. but must think of a situation quick if not.. then very headache..
another big day for me would be end of june.. having a major performance.. wonder if i can be up to standard by then.. so scare now..
these few days busy rearranging classes... cos its school holiday alot of holiday-ing for my students.. they are rich la hor.. wat to do..
babyfen woke up at 11:16 PM
