trying to prepare my program notes for my examination.. and seems like i have big problems with it.. wanted to show it to my teacher tml and here am i struggling with everything... sianz... reading through the ones i have previously written i realli dun deserve to pass (which i realli fail) sianz sia... realli its my attitude that i have to work on.. but also my language that i am poor in.. so stupid...
sometimes realli think i dun deserve wat i am and posseed now... well have a good boyfriend( whom i always bully).. a good job (which i dun realli put in my effort).. have a good career (which i dun realli put effort into practising and researching)... have a good family (which i always grumble alot about)... have a good friend (whom i sometimes overlook).... have many other things that i dun deserve it.. now already 21.. hope everything will be better and work harder for myself... sunday and wed is my big day.. (not getting married)... another type of big day... well.. if everything fails.. i'll just get married and bear kids... well that's the overall job of a woman in the end also..... :P
these few days starting to get worry about my examinations.. majority of ppl always think learning piano is not much stress... they dun even know what are we supposed to know everyday and practise in wat kind of mindset everyday... today practise realise that i dun realli listen to wat i play that's y my teacher always say that to me.... well... the demoralizing thing is that there is this 11 year old girl taking diploma examination this year also... she just passed her grade 8 with distinction last year.. so ~!~!~!~!!!!! and heard from my teacher that she's realli good in playing although mistakes are present but her style is quite convincing... going for her concert on 24th july.. hope to gain some inspiration from there.. or maybe is discouragement... dunno what's going on my heart now... sianz...~!~!~!~!
babyfen woke up at 12:53 AM
GREETINGS !