just finished a mini mock examination today.. had a long day.. supposed to have class in the morning but my student called to cancel it off.. so waited for my friends to come over to start off the examination.. well this examination's was put up by me and two other friends... purpose is to let students have a 'feel' of wat the examination was like.... well.. the response from parents were quite ok.. but the problem is the passing rate is like 30%? it was like very low and it hit my morale right from the start...
first student up was a little girl.. for grade 1.. well.. she failed.. becos she missed alot of things.. as in like play quite alot of wrong notes.. didn't finished practising one of her pieces also... so sad when i heard her failure.. next up was my student again.. yup.. she failed also.. cos of some of her things not done properly...wonder is it my fault or wat... then when her mom knows of the result.. her face was like so black.. and definitely i was being questioned about the teaching... low morale... realli very low... up next third in line.. was my student again.. well at least she passed... cos she's actually quite ok one la.. but then didn't realli pass that well.. the examiners (my friends) today very the strict.. so like tat lor... then up next fourth was my friend's student... i was taking the exam.. quite ok.. but the girl very nervous... overall still make it... then there was a break.. supposed to have.. but then the student arrived early so we start him... a cute boy (commented by my friends)... he passed the exams.. then followed on with other students... which i'm lazy to elaborate.. but all the others fail all the way through the end..
i realise a few things about myself today and i find it kind of disturbing for myself... wonder is it just me or wat other ppl see.. first.. i found myself very defensive when ppl mentioned something bad about anything i do or anything i say... second.. i seems to be very arrogant of wat i do and wat i see... third... can't realli see myself clearly when i always comment on ppl's bad things... fourth.. not doing a good job enouggh...five.. i'm a very competitive person..
argh~!~! my morale is damn low now that i realli dunno what to do with classes tomorrow.. think maybe like baby say... dun worry too much.. its just a mock examination.. but how can i not??? mock examination already like tat real examination how?? its kind of good we actually organise this becos now i see myself also.. strives to be a more strict teacher.. no more messing around with students... argh... just hope tml everything will be fine...
babyfen woke up at 10:14 PM
GREETINGS !