sick of everything~!~!

i'm feeling very bad nowadays... as from last entry... i'm still considering slacking.. dun know where to continue my practise and where to continue my program notes... onli know preparing to fail very badly.. sianzz.... argh~!~!~!~~!~!

realli sick of everything.... sick of practising.. sick of writing.. sick of asking.. even sick of sleeping.... something is terribly wrong with me... terrribly... very terribly..... just hope after exams i can dun worry for 2 months.. until my results come by.......

recently nothing much happen... been practising hard (though sick of it) last few days... didnt teach for about 2 days le... cos took off.. then today, tml and friday still have to teach.. then left sat and sun to practise again... i'm the first student taking exams... so scared..... worried... afraid... wat ever word that u can describe fear.....

baby is having COG this sunday... (change of guards)... at istana.. i wont be going down.. cos the position he's taking is old guards.. which mean he wont get to march from hereens to istana... is from istana inside to istana outside... so dun think can see much.. somemore the next day is my exams.... want to stay at home and prepare my feeling.... when i'm typing this.. my heart is getting faster and faster.. worried about the exams more and more....

babyfen woke up at 2:58 PM

too stress to think...

been a bit slacking now adays.. closer to exams.. not realli want to face the reality and realli dun feel like practising much.. so stress sia... plans for the week ahead is to practise and practise... took leave for many fridays le... hope its gonna help a bit.. or should i say alot.. heheeee...

enjoyed my weekend with baby... friday after work went over to his house and waited for him to come back so we can go over to his friend, Gordon, for his birthday party... hmmm.. it seems like onli baby know me and i know baby... and we know his friend.. heheee.. that means no other ppl that we know are there actually... earlier that morning i went to J8 to shop for the present.. didn't know wat to get.. so in the end got a perfume CK Truth men one la... its ex sia... $60 for 50ml.. but its nice.. hope he likes it... told baby to say is he choose one if gordon dont like it... heheee.. nice right???? but its the thought that counts la hor.... after that went over to another friend house.. to slack chit chat... well the three musketeers....been long since they have chatted.. so sit there listen... weizhan got us a bottle of wine.. its nice.. sweet... got wine tasting first... heehee.. heard he bought alot back.. cos he just went overseas for training.. poor guy.. kena stung by hornet i think.... alot of scars on his body also... so poor thing.. last time so clean.. now so wounded.... they surf a few pretty girls website in friendster.. i feel so out when i saw those girls.. they are just plain pretty and pretty and more pretty... wat to do.. fated la hor.. heheeee...after tat went home.. fetch KS to near his house... wanted to drop him at yishun one.. but like not very nice ma.. so just drop him at somewhere nearer then he can take bus home... reached home quite late..sleep..

woke up sat.. late for class... 9am is the class i think i reached about 9.15am... then their door bell spoil... i was waiting for ppl to walk by then can ask them to open.. cos i entered through the back door ma.... after classes... came home.. wanted to go over and find baby but in the end he came over wanted to go swimming... but lazy so never go... went out for dinner at northpoint.. eat the teppanyaki.. quite ok la... not tooo bad.... nice and ex.... like wat baby say... the chef at the jurong hill top more friendly.. comparing the place... of course la... jurong hill top one so ex.... oh ya.. i know where i can take baby for dinner for his birthday le.. but must save money first.. cos that place quite ex... heehee... watched Celluar yesterday.. quite nice... surprising some one could actually think of this kind of plot.. in case those who never watch or never hear before.. its about this lady who was being kidnapped becos his husband accidentally filmed a group of cops killing the drug addict and stealing their money.... then this lady was locked inside a room with a spoilt phone... being a very good science teacher.. she managed to connect the phone back and randomly managed to call this guy, Ryan, and asked for help.... this Ryan helped her along the way and could not put down the phone cos once its gone.. its gone forever.... as in the phone line... inbetween alot of things happen... not too bad la... after watching sleep....

today classes and clasesse.. later still have to go to two places.. still thinking whether to make a trip down to bishan to buy the bag that i saw.. nice leh.. but i've got too many bags le... just bought one recently also... its $12.... all the bags i buy around this range.. that's y i can afford to buy alot.. but mom sure nagged at me one.. and planning to buy hp.. just dunno wat to get.. my phone realli sucks now.. oh ya.. another thing is the shoe for exams.. wonder whether i should get it also... its $17.90... so like altogether about $28.. and still looking for suitable attire for my exams.. the room is freaking cold... so must find proper wear if not very difficult to play sia....

tml is my dad's birthday.... alot of ppl going for dinner.. usual is 6 ppl... my family la.. now got 3 ppl added.. my kor's gf.. my er ge's gf and my bf.. heeheee... hope to take picture tml.. oh ya talking about pic.. my camera is spoilt... wonder what happen.. can't close... cant do anything... sianz sia.... no pictures nowadays...

babyfen woke up at 1:11 PM

just stressed out~!~!~!

totally stressed out today that i forgot i've taken my lunch and got my friend to buy something for me to eat and told her i've not eaten my lunch.. in fact i've eaten a big packet of rice in the afternoon.. wat the hell right??~!~!~!

12 more days.. so scary.. sitting here trying to alter my program notes more and more.. so worried... argh`~!~!!~ ppl reading my blog nowadays.. must be so sick of reading... dun mind me la hor.. in the first place.. no ppl will read this.. heeheee...

was listening to Closer's soundtrack again.. realli addicted to that song and wont feel bored even listening to it alot of times... realli must try to wake up early these few days to practise... argh... plain stupid words.... sianz.....

it seems like realli quite a few of them actually dun realli take the syllabus of my exams... cos it seems they comment its much more difficult in standard.. so now i'm taking it.. must make sure i pass it...

babyfen woke up at 1:43 AM

13 more days.. wat an unlucky number

left 13 days to exam... worried and scared tilll but abit deserved how i'm feeling now.. always say wake up early wake up early.. in the end still sleep like a stupid pig... sianz.... argh.... scare scare scare... worried worried worried... is all i can think of... taking off the whole week... just to prepare for my exams.. hope still have some time to buck up... thinking of the whole situation hor... actually also dunno why i go take the diploma exams lor.. able to find ppl to teach... got quite stable income.. taking the dip exam would meant a bit better on the income onli.. .wonder y.... sometimes to the extend... fail also never mind...but cannot ~!~!~!~!~!cannot think like that ba...

today very the unlucky.. kena a $30 summon cos never put coupons.. normally that area i dun put cos wont have the ppl check.. but today suay enough to kena... too bad lor... wat to do... just pretend that my student fees for this month is being minus by $30 ba...sianz....

children now adays so good life... learn this learn that.. still have parents by their side teaching them.. whether it is scolding teaching or nicely teaching.. at least still got the heart wat... one good thing about parents dun really study lots is that they wont know wat is going on with our work and wont nag us.. like... how come u dun know how to do.. so easy u also wrong.. something like that la... life is not the same anymore...

babyfen woke up at 11:05 PM

lost of words....

doing up my notes now... can't realli think much now.. no inspiration and words to do... true la.. i will take ppl comments straight.. its becos i have no more idea and no more way i can rephrase and paraphrase it anymore... sianz...

kind of envy ppl nowadays with life settled down and envy those who are enjoying their life now... so good.. but never mind... it will soon be over and after that i have alot of things to work on after exams... well.. its exams after exams.. without exams one would not be able to improve.. so exams are good... but nevertheless... exams create stress and more stresss.....~!~!~!~!~!

sleep and think sleep and worry.. sleep and worry more... sleep and think more......

babyfen woke up at 1:38 AM

wake up early!!!!

three more monday and its my exams~!~!~! so scared sia.. today practised a bit.. have to work on alot of things more... and thinking of wat to wear also... might have to get some new clothes just for the exams... impressions counts la hor....

main thing to change now is to get up early.. so meaning must sleep early.. but still i'm here blogging heehee... main reason my exams is at 9am... so early right~!~!~! wondered whether they would fall asleep while listening to me play.. heehee.. hope not la hor...

these few days quite ok la.. just never practise enough.. and still thinking how to get my notes altered... oh ya.. planning to relax myself this sat... cos baby having a long weekend which i dun get to accompany him.. so sad.. .miss him alot sia... heee

babyfen woke up at 12:40 AM

3 more weeks...

time is getting shorter and shorter.. nearer and nearer to the exams.. so scared sia.. today went down to book for the studio.. its at this Balmoral Plaza... kind of nice environment and it has about 10+ studios which stretch over 3 units of office... quite big sia.. next time take photo... heheeee.. oh ya.. saw a new phone.. kind of love it.. but dunno whether the function and the phone good or not... its Samsung E530C.. like the orange one.. but think its kind of ex.. so will see how first ba.. ask around and see how..

these few days.. kind of busy running around alot of places.. cos its students exams.. so need to go down to the studio for practise... next time realli must choose the places properly.. or maybe just fixed it at one of the studio can...will see how ba... tml have to go paragon.. another music school.. so sianz... not much time to go out with baby.. like today.. i'm supposed to be free from 5pm.. in the end. got few replacement classes end up finish at 9pm.. then he went marina to his friend's birthday dinner treat.. i didn't have the chance to go down.. so sad.... somemore i drive there and he drive there... like very funny like that.. so came home.. later must think how to prepare my students things.. so sianz..

just counted... 27 days to my exams... argh... so scary sia.. hope everything would be ok.. just got back my program notes from my teacher.. she said its not well done at all.. so got alot alot alot alot of red marks here and there.. argh... wat to do wat to do... argh~!~!~!~!

babyfen woke up at 11:12 PM

happy national day~~!~!

today's is national day.. my bro's birthday too... and baby's performance day.. heehee.. and my lazy day as usual...

woke up at about 10am which supposed to be early... sianz la hor.. usual reasons la hor... then eat er ge's birthday noodle then after that practise my piano.. went out a while to get a cake and came back and practise piano again... while i'm practising.. my the other two brothers are sleeping.. good life sia... never mind mine will be here after sept 5.. sleep whole day also no body cares sia.. heheee

after that went to eat dinner at Bottle Tree Village.. its at the old Sembawang Sea Sports Club.. the atmosphere quite nice.. service not very good.. and food ok onli.. price reasonable ba... its a family dinner to celebrate my bro's birthday.. got him a very expensive birthday present this year.. hmmmm come to think of it.. its the onli present i got him in my life.. heehee.. his present is......*DRUM ROLLSSSS********* dadadadadadadaaadddaaaa... Jacky Cheung's Snow Wolf Lake tickets.. well its the most expensive one.. got him two cos he and his gf go ma.. can't possibly ask him go alone right??? think he likes it alot although he was there "aiyo.. y buy the most expensive one... so expensive".. well its realli very ex la.. can pay two months for baby and my car leh... but never mind.. i will earn back the money soon... heeheee...

this is the tree over there.. in chinese its called "Bao Ping Shu" cos it looks like a bottle


these few days... always draggin alot of things behind.. like preparing my notes.. my questions.. tried my sight reading at a higher level today.. it sucks like hell sia.. hope can pass everything so i no need to retake.. i will.. i can.. i must~!~!~!~!~!~! tml gotta bring student down to practice.. have to book studio tml night also.. hope its open.. later go check... thinking of giving my students and myself a break after their exams so i can practise for my exams also.. hope so la...

alone at home now... nice but boring.. no one to chit chat and no presence felt... baby finished his national day today and tml have parade.. so poor thing sia.. then friday got parade again.. no break for him.. but good for him he have a long break on 22 Aug to 24 Aug.. he was thinking of booking chalet.. well just to let u all know.. those who went NDP.. you all have the coupons right??? it offer chalet at downtown east and pasir ris costa sands 3 days 2 nights for $80.. its just the same if u dun use the coupon and book on internet... so stupid right.. but think like wat baby say.. just want to promote onli la... thinking of whether to go... he can la.. but i can't so near to my exams and i sure will be like too worried to play le... so poor thing baby might have not a chance to play.... never mind la hor.. go by yourself and find ur friends lor.... heeheee.. a bit cruel hor... heehee....

babyfen woke up at 10:35 PM

multi-tasking / cars / V-ppl / respect / giving in

just changed my template..i love it alot.. well cos it's something that i have done it myself.. spent quite alot of times changing it tough.. and thanks to my smart brother who suggested the border should be black.. spent a while changing that... first day in the month that i didn't practise and do anything to music.. hope its the one and onli.. after this month.. i'm gonna be so free~!~!~!~! yeah~~!~! REN ~!~! REN `!~!~!~! REN~!~!~!~!~!~!

well.. its kind of sometimes frustrating to know someone dont realli listen to you while you were seriously meaning wat you were saying. .not to blame that someone... just that he can't multi task and the option of talking to you is not in his priority list... so many things that keep me off sometimes... sianz....

tml quite good la... got 2 ppl canceled their class.. maybe they know i'm having exams la hor.. heheee...national day on tuesday.. going out for celebration for my er ge's birthday.. planned wat to get for him le.. but its kind of ex lor.. but nevermind.. this will be the onli present i give him maybe from the previous 21 years of living together and another 5 years down the road.. heheee

had a few lessons today.. heavy mind and questions asked which i didn't reallli answer them well.. hope everything would be fine.. sianz... tired le.. wanted to talk about some things but think i need my beauty sleep more than anything...

babyfen woke up at 12:12 AM

sept 5

yesterday went for yet another 21st birthday celebration of my friend.. didn't managed to get a group photo of the CASH.. hope next time shall have a chance.. catch up with a few friends.. asking how they were... it seems to be that i'm not my usual self yesterday... think something is missing yesterday... and something went extra... what's wrong sia..

got my exam date le... its sept 5.. one month exactly from now.. so scared now.. wonder whether can make it or not.. its at a smaller concert hall... so hope it would not be so tense that day..two male examiners... scary~!~!

heard alot yesterday.. forgot alot today... its just like this everyday ba... so sianz...

babyfen woke up at 12:17 PM

giving up now....

had a bad day.... woke up late again.. practise a bit of my piano and didn't do up my program notes.. no inspiration to write at all.. how come i'm not a writer... sianz... went out at about 12.30pm... went to do up my car label.. gave the wrong car plate no to the person.. actually is wrong last alphabet la... (one bad) ..then went over to bishan junction 8 to book the practice slot for my student exams... wanted to buy a CD.. asked the sales girl how much she told me its $16.. kind of cheap so i said ok.. then went over to look for book then came back.. she scanned the item le then its like $23.60... =.= then i say i dun want le.. so like..."huh... ehh..... hmmmm"... so i said never mind lor.. take la... in the end spent something that i was not prepared to.. (two bad)the slot my student previously wanted dun have.. should say cannot book.. so in the end book one friday night at 8.30pm... try calling his mom to ask for a suitable time slot.. she didn't answer... after i book le, then got a call from his mom saying "huh.. he got art class leh..." told her no refund no changing also.. she say.. "then ok lor"... (three bad).. after that wanted to go toa payoh to book another student slot and send a registered mail... but stupid me.. didn't see properly the train.. which i normallly would take from bishan the direction... got up the train and heard.."next time Ang Mo Kio"... then i was like =.=" i was supposed to go toa payoh.. so took train to ang mo kio alighted walked down.. and then up the other side and took train back to toa payoh.. (four bad)
finally reached toa payoh... went to send registered mail first.. didn't have envelope cheap one.. ended up paying $1.50 extra for my bro (five bad) after that went to book my student studio.. dun have the time slot we initally wanted.. so booked another day... (six bad) .. after that went to work... haven had lunch yet.. so bought something so i can eat during the break.. then two very smary girls got mixed up for the timing... so i had no break at 3.45pm.. instead it was at 4.30pm... (seven bad)...

still not bad enough??? from all the way 4.30pm to 8.15pm.. i was faced with terrible students who (1) dun practise (2) dun do homework (3) just come lesson for fun (4) didn't bring my work instead i have to go through his other work (5) dun even understand wat i'm talking about and dun even bother to ask (6) pretend to know everything when nothing is being remembered and trying to act as nothing like that so that i wont scold ... that's how my horrible day end... actually not realli end yet... how bad is it when i'm supposed to do up my notes and i'm here typing all these frustrations... (tons of bad here) i'm felt so helpless that straight after my class.. i went over to the admin and said.. do you have any teacher that is willing to take my full day slot??? i teach until realli very pek chek.. ya i know.. i'm not professional.. but if this goes one.. my life would be shorten by alot i guess...and this shows how lousy i am as a teacher.. sometimes realli doing office work might be a better choice.. no responsibilities of others.. just in charge of your own work and get it done properly can liao.. other things not for me to worry....

i realli feel like giving up...anyone interested to take someone who dun feel like working... give her money.. and give her time to do what ever she wants??? pls let me know.... :p

babyfen woke up at 12:22 AM

wat a waste~!~!

august le.. so fast sia... reaching august le... so many examinations comin up... not mine la.. but i'm in charge of them.. so sianz...

today woke up and went to teach... then after that have to make a trip down to paragon to help my student book the studio for the examination.. so drag baby with me cos its his off day.. hehee.. then went to have a good lunch.. my treat... i also dunno why i suggested that.. wanted to eat at Ding Tai Feng one.. but then changed to my favourtie samsui chicken.. yummy~~!~!

then taught for the whole day.. reached home watched my American Next Top Model.. then wanted to do up my programm note.s. but its realli mentally tired for me.. so decided to finish it tml. hehee.. wonder whether it would be done...

have quite alot of things to prepare this week.. sianz sia... oh ya. .national day coming soon.. remember to watch the Live Show o.. and watch out for the one who is opening the door for the President.. COs its BABY~~!~!~! (WEihao).. heehee.. camera man.. u know wat to do la hor..

recently a couple that i know broke up le.. so sad.. they have been together for very long i think.. just heard from baby one.. the reason that i know of its becos the guy now is in army so not much time to accompany his gf... cos he's in OCS one... or was it commando?? aiya.. will never get the real picture one.. its realli kind of sad.. cos they are good together last time when i talk to them... well.. who knows la hor.. maybe there's chances that they will be back together again ba..

this thursday is my friend's birthday.. 21st birthday that is.. at Aloha again.. think its cheap and big that's y alot of ppl go there ba... sure alot of ppl will go one lor.. she have the charm, the looks, the attitude and almost everything.. dunno what to get for her.. should be something related to sports as she's very sporty and outgoing.. she's one of the CASH member that i've mentioned.. will get some pictures and upload here one.. hope this is the chance i can get to take photo for the cash company again...heeehee...

tml half day gone teaching at music school.. so sianz.. have to prepare my work tml.. shall try to wake up early.. if not.. aiya... another wasted day of my life...

babyfen woke up at 12:26 AM

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