i know the cause.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
now i know why i'm just a nobody trying to make ends meet... cos i'm a totally lazy person.. or should i say in nicer way.. no motivation person... no hopes to be done... if not i will just say and do nothing..
these few days i realise that i'm deserved to be not well liked by others becos of my own working attitude.. luckily kids are easier to cheat by.. can't imagine if i have to work with other ppl... i'm sure i will be a bad colleague...
well if i'm to grumble.. i can go on and on.. but wouldn't want to bore anyone or make my life even worst... just happened to pass by this ex school mate of mine... she's kind of very enthu in her arts... as in music side... and she's one the player for esplanade youth... kind of impressive... see the difference?? while me.. just someone trying to pass my time..
last time i always think that there are two type of teachers.. i meant piano teacher especially.. one who teaches everything that she knows to her students to make sure everything is delivered across.. and the other who just teach to pass time.. so just anyhow finish her lessons in order to get the fees at the end of day.... i used to think that i'm the prior category one... but as time passes.. can't help but thinking that i'm turning to the second category.. and its scary.. cos i hate this kind of teachers... i know.. definitely its my choice to be which type.. but so much so it still depends on the students. cos if u have students who just practice for the sake of it... u would belongs to the second category teacher.. but if u have those students who are very motivated to learn everything.. then u will becomes the first category teacher.. and the sad thing is that i dun have students who are totally motivated themselves... how's that??? so wat will i become?? time shall tell..
still planning my future... dunno whether which one i take... i dun think i can stand teaching alone for the whole of my life.. would bored my life away.. so must find alot of things to do to keep me occupied.. everything will happens after september..
babyfen woke up at 12:27 AM
extremely slacking day...
Saturday, July 22, 2006
now at home.. supposed to be out for classes and rushing back for more.. apparently.. three classes were canceled straight on.. so i reached home at 12 plus... rested, cooked my lunch.. and i'm alone at home too.. then after that went to surf net... reading ppl's blog as usual... got a call that the lesson was cancel.. was debating wat i should do.. swim, yoga or piano?? so i decided on yoga as i'm realli putting on weight le... and now thinking whether i should go down for a swim as the sun is good... but alot of ppl.. worried no place to swim also.... shall see how... tonight going to watch the free show on SCV demand TV... planned with my bros to watch at 9pm.. wonder whether they remember or not... and tml is a big day... discussing some family issues that are very very important.. hopefully it doesn't ends up bad... have to wake up early tml too..
dinner how??? still thinking.. lazy to go out eat... and also lazy to cook since i've cooked this afternoon.. nothing much to eat at home also... order delivery also cannot cos most of them are like fastfood lor.... never mind now not hungry yet.. later see how... cleaned my floor.. but still messy as usual... think next time i realli need a very big room preferably with a walk in wardrobe... hows that eh??? nice~!~!~!
oh ya.. i just saw somewhere that there's this 10 car accident on CTE on 20th july.. sia la... how did that happen??? cos cars are following too close to each other i think.. then E-brake... there goes everything... heehee.. actually i not sure of the news la.. guess one lor..
heard another news about this artist..Xu CHun Mei... heard that she was kena beaten by her fiance, until nose break or something like that sia... wonder why she has a bf in the first place.. not that she's ugly or not.. its her character that i loathe... got money.. just keep quiet and life happily ever after la.. still appear on shows saying this saying that... wat S**T...
sianz.. think my computer now realli dun like me or wat... cos i wanted to install this software so i can upload all the photos i took from my phone... but apparently.. it doesnt seems to work.. tryin to fix it for a very long time le.. hopefully it will be better.. if not sianz.. no more pictures in the future...
babyfen woke up at 5:38 PM
《再一次的巴士》
Thursday, July 20, 2006
To view *right click 'encodin' 'unicode'*人生就如搭巴士一样。
从一个地方到另一个，都需要乘搭巴士。
回家，逛街，上班等等多少不了它。
而每一次的路程都是不一样的，
你的每一天多一样吗？
在巴士上，第一少不了的是司机，
他是带你去你要的地方。
这不就像我们路程上的一位领导人吗？
搭巴士时，遇到的乘客都不一样，
可能会有‘天使’，可能会有‘魔鬼’。
可能天使会帮你，可能魔鬼会害你。
而可能天使会害你，魔鬼会帮你。
各式各样的人，都会是你成长的一部分，
不由得你选折。
繁忙的时候，巴士一定会很拥挤，
可是你还是得乘搭。
拥挤的状况就像你人生遇到的压力时，
挤得让你透不过气，可是你还得撑住。
乘搭时，也会可能没有人在巴士上，只有你，
就像你会有孤独的一天。
这一天不会每次多发生，
应为你不可能每天多孤孤单单的，对吗？
偶尔巴士会有故障，就像人会有犯错的一天。
当这发生时， 不是你应该停下脚步不再前进，
也不是坐着等待事情迎刃而解。
只要记得，会有另一个巴士带你继续走下去。
我以前经常搭巴士，所以感触很多。
对我来说巴士是一个可以思索的地方，
一个可以让我领悟莫些道理的地方。
可是不知从哪时开始，我就不再搭巴士了。
我可以说是不懂得好好思索的人，
不能领悟莫些道理的人了。
从现在起，我应该这么走呢？
难道，真的要我再搭一次巴士吗？
babyfen woke up at 7:13 PM
time flies..
time realli flies very fast... its like whooshhhh... gonez~!~!! its going to be the third time i take my exam.. wonder how would i do... thinking that i have alot of time today.. cos of my class was canceled so came home.. slack till now infront of the computer.. wat shit right.... sianz...
just heard from radio one sentence today.. which i think is totally true la.. but i think everyone is doing that.. or was it only my thinking??? it says that "dont read anything that will make urself feels ugly".. true enough... but the problem with me is that i'm surrounded by alot of beautiful things.. like beautiful ppl... beautiful products... beautiful pictures or wat ever so.. so everytime i sees them i would always feel sad about myself... sianz...
tml no classes... but going out to service my car and baby's watch.. poor him.. drop his watch (think i mentioned before)... so have to change the face.. wonder how much would it worth... see how ba...
alot of things is going to happen in the near future.. wonder if i can handle them all properly.. if not i think i will break down... ppl... pls remember to prepare for future... be in money, mentality, physically, academically or wat ever so.. think of long term not short term.. if not it would be very difficult to move on...
still no pictures.. no place for me to upload... hope it would be soon cos i'm getting bored of words all the time..
babyfen woke up at 5:26 PM
its going to rain...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
now at home.. waiting for the next class to reach.. probably going to sleep a while.. very tired.. cos today.. i went SWIMMING.. alone that is.. luckily i decided to go... feeling so much better... and managed to tan myself a little cos in the morning was BIG BIG SUN~!~!~!
nothing much... oh ya.. on the way back this morning.. thought of something that i want to blog about.. but guess its nothing important cos i forgot about it again.. but "lucky" me got another summon.. think next time i will buy alot of coupons and put it for every lesson.. and with it i shall write "F**K OFF, stupid auntie' wonder will i get another summon for others... heehee... but worth trying eh.... any one wants to try first let me know o...
oh ya.. something very mad happen and i'm kind of stupid and also angry about these ppl too... as most of the ppl who knows me i like to do cross stitch... so i'm in search of this alphabet book for quite a while le.. precious moments one.. cute one that is... so i went alot of shops they didn't sell those nice ones.. only those old fashion one... so i went for alternative that is bid online.. and the next thing i know i found the book i want. i bid for it. i win it. but the next next thing i know.. passing by AMK so went to the shop that sells look around and saw alot of new books... as in new 'old' books.. those that are not sold last time.. and they are all brand new.. so the next thing that comes to my mind is check the price.. who knows... i bid for $17 (include mailing charges) and the book is selling @ $13.30.. hows that eh??? shit them man... always like that one.. i've just received the book today.. at least not too bad.. its in good condition although not as good as new.. but its not old either.. going to wrap it soon and shall see how ba... next time i'll just wait at the shops better... they're selling others too.. going back soon to check with other books i can buy...
and also the funny thing now is that i bought actually a drink without thinking much @ $7 and here i am complaining about the few dollars i lost.... wat the hack?? that's me.. fickled minded as can be and contradicting to the max as can be... how i wish i could just take day off today.. raining good to sleep....
went to catch Pirates 2 @ jubilee on sunday.. was supposed to go out one.. like go town watch or something like that.. but thought it would be pointless as always go there so many ppl then after that nothing to do also.. so watched at AMK.. before that had our lunch as baby went swimming before that then after show.. went back home... rested and had our dinner... sweet baby fetched me home that night.. heehee.. cos i didn't drive la... so he stayed over too.. and i followed him the next day to
Xael's house.. went to play some games and transfer some games... didn't practice at all before my lesson.. so wanted to cancel my class yesterday one... so i called my teacher and ask her for other slots.. well she's not free so no changing of class.. then i told her becos i never practice much scare she scold me.. so cute her went laughing and said "ok la ok la.. i promise i dun scold you" (in half chinese and half english.). sounds so funny and made me realise that she's also can be nice sometimes that is if she wants to.. heehee...
sleeppppp..
babyfen woke up at 2:28 PM
day wasted..
Saturday, July 15, 2006
today is kind of a wasted day... woke up early to have class.. supposed to be packed whole day one.. but two classes got cancel.. so free... very free i would say.. reached home around 10 plus after morning class.. started surfing net when i was supposed to do my yoga practice.. lazy la.. then went to do up the present i prepared for baby... gave him one last night... heehee.. not going to show here soon i think.. haven take picture yet.. talk about picture.. i just reformat my computer... so alot of things gone.. no pictures for a while i guess.. *back*. after preparing.. it was about time to leave house for another class...
sianz... becos of the canceled class i have to travel to tampines and back... then at night had another class at home.. finished at 8pm and went out to eat dinner with my parents... not a very good day.. becos of my student's progress that is... she's taking exam and she wouldnt want to practice at all.. well watever its her exam anyway...
realised that i realli dread home nowadays.. or prob today not good mood or wat... didn't talk about during dinner.. dad tried to talk to me.. but i didn't response well enough i think.... watever it is... i'm just getting sicked and tired complaining to ppl about my students.. cos they wouldn't understand.. and would just say.. "aiya... children is like taht one lor"... i also know... =.="
tml is going to be a post celebration of today's anniversary... not doing much.. should be going to watch pirates of the carribean and eat dinner.. heee.. still got two more present to give baby.. doesn't cost much either... so never mind.. he bought me a very nice ear piece which i wanted long long time cos i spoilt the original one... going to use my ZEN more often now.. but have to re download alot of songs... see how ba.. cannot anyhow download cos baby say i download too many useless things that's y my computer kena virus... stupid...
oh ya.. forgot about the dinner that sks treated us.. it was quite nice... the food i think ok onli.. prob the more expensive food then are the ones that are nice... like the abalone, the oyster... the abalone, the oyster... eh... the abalone the oyster... get my point?? heeee... there's this chocolate fountain there.. which is the machine that i wanted to buy at carrefour... nice sia... but i think its kind of useless too... becos its difficult to clean and wasting chocolate... next time when i have my house..i will buy a set maybe... and a fondue set too... how nice... after the dinner.. we went to play pool at this place near bugis junction.. the ambience is good... smoke free one... good sia... bright enough to see dark enough to play... heehee.. then after tat the guys went to ZOUK while baby and me headed home.. always think that i'm dragging him down when im with his friends.. next time must ask properly first.. if they have plans after that then prob i would not tag along.. at least like that he doesnt need to worry about me ba... went home and slept....
thurs: the next day, went to teach in the morning.. then went home to rest a while.. who knows this resting allows me to cancel my afternoon class.. cos i was sneezing like mad... sneeze until i just want to sleep and sleep.. but cannot cos meeting chirstine for dinner and shopping for her present.. u see she has the same birthday as sks.. but we celebrate ourselves for chirstine's birthday.. went around searching for her present.. found it in the end.. nice ones~!~! heee.. then we had dinner at NYDC... so full sia.. nice sia the cream baked rice.. think next time go there just order that can le.. wanted to order dessert one.. but was like very very full... so forget it.. then after that i went to teach... night class.. so tired sia.. before going to night class.. already feels like sleeping le... reached early so sat and rested for time to reached.. then went for class... stupid class again cos the student just dont like to play any thing new or any thing difficult.. wat's the point of learning when everything is like ABC??? can't ppl just understand?? after that.. my dearest baby came to pick me up.. so sweet.. i made him to if u want to know.. heehee. cos i didn't drive that day and i didn't want to take taxi or bus home.. i will reached home very very very very late..
friday was fun... slept till 10 plus.. which was considered late for me le.. i wanted to sleep till 12 plus one.. but can't la.. baby would be so bored.. woke up.. he started playing his MOnster Hunter... and i went to cook breakfast... ate rested for an hour or so.. went swimming.. he hates my swimming pool.. cos its like so shallow that his legs always bump the floor.. heehee.. so swim awhile only while i just get tanned.. heehee...after that he helped reformat my computer.. and we went out for dinner... treated him dinner for the work he done for my computer... wanted to find my present... but he couldn't find.. and poor him so frustrated over it that i was been influenced too... tried to talk to him nicely and finally i know wat he wants to buy for me.. took him to the place while i just pretend to look at other things... heehee.. after that went home and exchanged our present @ 12am..
oh ya.. something very horrible happen... to us... kind of... but we SURVIVED~!~! heehee.. we went to 7-Eleven wanting to buy drinks.. cos we were both thirsty.. then we were debating over slurpee or big gulp.. in the end decided with this slurpee torpezoo something like that... baby did tried all the flavours before buying.. like little boy sia... so he choose one so ok lor.. walked and drink the slurpee on our way to the car... then he suddenly complain that he's having this soar throat and he feels that its the slurpee's fault.. so i thought?? too sweet la... then he pushed the drink to me and try... oh S**T.. i tried.. it was ok at first but like 5 seconds later.. i started to have this soar throat feeling too.. then i realise that the drink is like ginger beer or something.. taste horrible..... (i'm feeling diguested when typing this YUCKS~!~!~! ) i din believed so tried somemore.. then i realised its realli sucks like S**T.. so we were like throw away la... so i did... luckily we are not out of the place yet.. suggested that i run over to cheers to buy some other drinks to cover the taste if not we will die of horrible taste in our throat on our way back.... pls ppl.. dun ever buy slurpee Torpezo flavour.. u will die~!~!~!~! (not so serious la)>....
so now here i am.. waiting for baby to reach home... poor him.. NDP today so late then finish.. its like it took the whole day of his time.. and he sat there just watching the rehersal and parade.. waste of time sia....
tml shall be a better day
babyfen woke up at 11:26 PM
6 years / 72 months
happy 6th anniversary to baby and me~!~! heehee... its a long long way before and long long way after.... many years still awaits..
very happy to be with my baby for so long although sad, bad things do happen but sweet and good things still very there... heeheee...
I LUV U BABY~!~!
babyfen woke up at 12:01 AM
tired,, very tireedddd...
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
i'm so sleepy now.. later going for class.. sure sleep while driving one.. been doing that all the time... so sianz sia.. lucky to survive till now.. beeen very busy these few days.. travelling in and out of house so often that i dont have enough time to rest.. all my rest time are been packed with practicing and doing stuff like preparing student class.. preparing some other things... sianz... i want to sleep whole day without thinking of wasting time.. its realli kind of sad when i have the free time but cannot do anything.. and sometimes it might lead to anger... just like last sunday.. went over to baby house but he tired so he slept and i so i did nothing... cannot complain but think that day mood not very good.. cos i have a new boyfriend stealer~!~! i'm not angry.. but just jealous... this boyfriend stealer went over baby house to stay over night and watch soccer and then went swimming and lunching with him the next day... never mind.. he does that only once in a blue moon.. so be it then...
today class all the way till 10pm.. so tired.. hopefully i can tahan till then.. tml still have one whole day.. the only thing to look forward to tml.. is the dinner treat that sks is going to have... he's treating us Vienna International Buffet at United Square... heard some good and bad comments about it... so tml shall try.. but he sure spent alot of money.. cos its like about 10 ppl he's treating including his family.. luckily we all quite ok with his family.. if not so weird... and one person is about $30+++ so end up sure $300++++ one... never mind la hor.. ppl rich wat.. wat to do... heehee
here comes the short term memory again... wanted to blog about something but forgot.... aiyee..... stupid brain... and probably lack of oxygen... cannot think properly... oh ya.. received another student exam date.. its 4th august.. so now its two ppl in august.. i think today go teach sure will get another two more exam date one.. since i opted for august for both of them i think..
this saturday is baby and me anniversary.. wanted to plan something one.. but totally forgot about it.. probably becos i'm not in good shape to take any nice photos... so prob have to drag another year le... thought of wat to buy le.. but no time to go and buy yet.. so on thurs going shopping with christine cos its her birthday tml...same as sks thurs shop for her present and baby's present... oh ya... spending too much money nowadays le.. just bought another set of clothes @$47.. its nice and kind of dunno whether it will fit if i continue to put on weight.. its that kind of jumper dress that i'm trying to find.. probably wearing it on anniversary outing... we can only celebrate on sunday.. cos he's having NDP on saturday and poor me teaching the whole day.. from 9am to 8pm... its going to be like this the every saturday that follows.. and more "boyfriend stealer" will pop out already... but in a way good also la.. at least he dun neglect his friends... but i believe good friends no need to meet up always and will still be good friends one... once in a while eat and shop and talk... that's all one meeting is needed...
i want to sleep sia.. but no time le.. have to go out around 1.50pm and now its like already 1.10pm... aiyeee~!~!~!~! sleep god needed~!~!~!
babyfen woke up at 1:04 PM
beyond description
Sunday, July 09, 2006
everything just beyond description... was home after around 7plus.. realised that actually its lot of time from 7 plus to 12 plus.. i could have done alot of things more meaningful... but in the end i chose those that i should not have bothered...
i should have practiced my piano, wash my fan and prepare my student class.. but everything not done and i was like doing other stuff like watching TV while doing some scrap book thingy.. sew some cross stitch.. hows that eh??? so now i'm again one day without practice.. one day more with my dirty fan... wonder when everything would be ok... am i too used to flexi timing that it totally kills me to do anything???
today started teaching at 9 plus.. finished only 5 plus... every class was back to back... tired and hungry.. didn't have time to eat also.. so i only had one meal today... not heathly sia... tml thought can go play some badminton.. but too bad.. someone important no response.. so decided to call it off.. so tml one class and done... nothing else.. so shal lpractice my piano and clean my fan.. if not i shall minus $50 from my savings... hows that eh... hmm.. maybe can try this method with baby supervising me.. if not i will totally slack like nobody business which is not in this case... just recieved a letter for my student's exam... soon it will be MY TURN>.. and i will be disgraced to the max if i fail it once again... and my teacher would boot me out of her class for sure... such a lazy and totally irresponsible student...
now my everyday are very packed.. decided to leave out friday and sunday to rest and practice my piano (which i doubt so).. all teaching till night.. hopefully have time for baby... never mind la.. he dun have me he also have other friends to go out with...heehee..
talking about friends.. dunno whether am i desperate or wat... always feel that my friends are not enough.. as in like ppl are avoiding me... my sixth sense and i dunno whether its true.. cos i'm mostly ignored by ppl.. probably beocs of my KPOness nature.. keep on asking those questions that i would like to know and probably disturbing to them.. i just seems to lose the sense of asking the correct questions anymore.. watever it is.. wonder whether i would have any friends in the future anymore... probably one or two...
babyfen woke up at 12:01 AM
hot weather nowadays...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
these few days so hot sia.. i just bathe finish and i'm starting to sweat again... sianz.... now think very time before sleeping must bathe le...
july le.. so scared.. not yet received any news of my students exam yet and also not mine.. luckily... hopefully it wont come by so soon...just had lesson on monday with my teacher after one month of absence.. cos she back to china... now back.. hopefully can pick up soon.. but judging my schedule.. i dunno whether can cope or not.. cos every free time i would want to spend sleeping if not with baby... my time now quite packed.. hopefully can be slack after my exams... then i can concentrate on my other instrument and also my higher learning of piano... if not i will be so stagnant.. and my japanese language too.. no time that can suits me.. so sad... private teacher is going to be so ex..
just had my second lesson of yoga today.. quite fast the time spend... but learnt quite a few more new postures... hopefully can practice and remember them... but i still can't do the stretch.. my legs sucks sia... must try... and perserve... then i found out that one of my student's mom's friends are doing the same class as me.. cos the parent saw me walking towards the CC while she drop her friends off... so qiao.... ^^v
Germany lost... how can??? is Italy that good??? went over baby house.. wanted to watch the soccer initially one.. but overslept.. very tired.. same for him... so we missed our match... so couldn't see how Germany lost... tonight Protugal vs France.. let me tell u this... prediction.. Protugal would be the one wining.. cos this World Cup is FIXED.~!~! totally FIXED.... luckily never bet sia... but its like that one lor.. when u bet and watch soccer it would be more interesting.. when u dun bet and watcch u would wonder why u stayed up to watch it in the end....
another sad thing... my the other crab died on me... realli dunno what's wrong.. i did change water and food.. now thinking back.. i think its the shell.. cos a few days down the road it seems like the crab always crawl out of the shell and then stayed outside... so now i have an tank without crab... but with shells... hows that eh....??
not much these days to talk about.. but i think i have a serious memory lost.. it seems like always on the road i would know wat i need to do and wat i want to blog about.. but everytime it seems when i came home.. my head is like blank.... its that bad till i can go out again and remember clearly wat i wanted initially.... is there something at home taking away all my memory??? maybe any friends who come to my house if u all experience these... pls let me know.. then it must be my home... heeheee...
somebody's birthday is coming le.. i dunno whether i'm invited.. but still have to prepare present and this present quite difficult to think.. cos i dunno what to buy and give... it seems like if i do something that i always do.. but like a little not very appropriate.. but maybe saturday go tampines walk walk and see the shop that my friend told me.. probabbly there i can find the correct gift..
babyfen woke up at 6:08 PM
july is here meaning exams are here...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
july le and lazy me is still lazy.... dun think it will do anything change to myself... cos my energy is depleting always....
this weekend... so sad... baby had SAF day yesterday which resulted in meeting him only at 8 plus.. and then today he's having NDP rehersal which results in not meeting at all.. so sad.. and the rest of the saturday are all like that.. but wat to do la hor... like that lor...
been quite ok these few days.. slowing teaching back all the students.. but some students just have to irritate me enough to create problems with myself.. watever it is i just take a simple approach.. forgive and forget and teach watever they want to learn... yup.. not wat i want to teach.. is wat they want to learn.... parents also very jia lat.. some are like pushing them too far... some giving too much leeway... whereas some just dont care.... wish i could retire soon...
oh ya.. went to watch soccer yesterday for the england and protugal match.. wat ever it is.. i believe that this year match is like prearranged.. can u imagine that BRAZIL LOST?? didnt watch the match so can't comment much.. but why they lost sia... was hoping so much they win.. now all hopes on germany then.... if germany wins its prearranged.... heehee.. kind of la...host ma.. must let them win... right???
babyfen woke up at 2:05 PM
